Enthusiastically Embrace Change


 “Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.

Helen Keller

How do you look at change? Change can be positive or negative—depending on how you look at it. Do you see it as an adventure or is “change” a scary word to you? Maybe you just don’t want to rock the boat—even if it’s going nowhere. Change can be risky, but we are convinced that no risk equals no change and no change adds up to no growth and a boring relationship. Plus being willing to adapt and change can add zest and excitement to your marriage.

Start by thinking about how you have adapted and changed in your relationship in the past. We are certainly different people than we were back when we were married college students. Over the years we have had to change and adapt to each other. And then each stage of marriage offers a different challenge.

The first years of our marriage required many adjustments. It’s not easy to learn to think “we” instead of “me.” When we disagreed, we could no longer just go home. We were home.  So we had to adapt.

After the early years come the active parenting years. Of course with patchwork families, many start marriage with the complication of a ready-made family and this requires even more adaptability!

With young children the “no time, no energy” factor required all the creativity we could muster to adapt and to stay close to each other! Then when we had three teenagers, the physical exhaustion gave way to emotional exhaustion!

The next stage—the empty nest—may be an erroneous term as many nests never empty or quickly refill with adult children, grandchildren, or older parents.

When our sons began to leave home, the challenge was to refocus from our role as parents to our role as partners. Our children had been our pacers and we had to learn (okay, we’re still learning) not to work all of the time!          

Where are you in your marriage? What changes may be just up the road for you? For an interesting discussion, talk about these two questions:

1.       Over the years of your marriage how have you changed and adapted?

2.       What ways do you presently need to adapt and change?

Go on and take the risk. This marriage keeper will help you keep your marriage on the right path and can produce a change for the better for you and for your mate! Plus you can bravely face future changes when you know the truth of the proverb, “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” (Proverbs 13: 18). Now, isn’t that encouraging?