Give Your Marriage Three Gifts

Do you ever find yourself in those situations when even though you love each other you simply cannot agree? In a growing marriage, conflict and disagreements are just part of the landscape.

Show us a marriage where spouses never disagree and we’ll show you a marriage that is stagnating! But too many marriages fall apart when partners lack skills to deal with the inevitable anger and conflict that every close relationship must face.

If you are facing a situation right now and don’t know where to start to resolve it, here’s our tip. Consider three gifts you can give to your marriage. One of them may be just right for the present situation.

• Gift One: The gift of love—“Let’s do it your way.” When an issue is just more important to your spouse, than it is to you, simply give a gift of love and say, “This time, let’s do it your way.” A caution: A gift of love is a great gift, but it only works over the long haul if, at other times, the other spouse also gives love gifts.

• Gift Two: The gift of individuality—“We’ll do it differently.” That’s when we realize that we don’t have to agree on everything. It’s fine sometimes just to agree to disagree--to maintain our separate perspectives about an issue. Maybe you like different styles of music or have different food preferences. After all, wouldn’t it be boring if we agreed on everything!

• Gift Three: The gift of compromise—“We’ll meet in the middle.” The third gift is when we both give a little to find some middle ground. And for us, this happens a lot.

In next week’s blog, we’ll talk about what these gifts can look like in a marriage