Have Talk Times

“Communication is not a matter of being right but of starting a flow of energy between two people that can result in mutual understanding.”

John A. Sanford

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and talking together will help you keep it! One key to building a successful marriage is actually taking the time to talk to each other.

Perhaps you, like us, keep waiting to win a two-week cruise for two, or for the kids to grow up or for twenty-four hours of uninterrupted time to be miraculously dropped into your lap, complete with coupons for a candlelit dinner for two and a night away at a posh hotel. Then we could talk and talk and talk—uninterrupted!

We would all like gifts such as these, but in reality, most of us live in a perpetual time crunch. That’s why we need to plan times to talk. And when you do achieve this noble goal, what can you talk about? Can you remember the kinds of things you talked about before you were married?

When we first met and started dating, we were obsessed with learning more about each other. We never ran out of things to talk about. We dreamed together about the future.

After we were married and the kids came along, we got out of the habit of having long conversations. We stopped dreaming together and we knew more about each other than at times we really cared to know! And when we did talk it was to put out fires, or talk about the kids, work, or how we were going to make ends meet financially. Talk became more work than fun.

Then we started “Let’s just talk” times. Our talk times were free, which helped our budget. We didn’t even need a sitter. You may want to try some of our favorites:

·         Take a stroll around the block. Take baby along. Your little one will be content in the stroller and you can connect with conversation.

·         Use time in the car—twice. When we are driving to a conference or to visit family, we use the going and coming times as our talk time.

·         After the kids are in bed, turn the TV and other electronics off, listen to your favorite music, and have a “let’s talk time.”

Of course, it’s great when you can get away from the house, kids, dogs, cats, but wherever you are or whatever your circumstances take the initiative, energize your marriage by talking to the one you love! Remember that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver (Proverbs 25:11).  And as you are talking, don’t forget to listen! You’ll just love what you hear.